Memorial for Bob
longtime and long loved Kismet resident
It was at once the most
beautiful and the most sad event.
Arlene did a great and
thorough job culling the guest list from an array of friends over the
years as far back as his college classmate and as recent as his new
neighbors across the street. The one common theme was their devotion to him.
Among the 70 plus guests in
attendance were: Larry & Joyce, Marsha & Art, Gary & Dawn, Lou
& Patty, Rudy & Patty, Helen, Regina, Frank,Dorothea, Mike & Marge,
Phyllis & Charlie, Volleyball players Robin, Linda L, Mosse & Fred, Joe
& Joanie, Frank & Heather, Christine H, Roz, Helene, Bradlee and
Marilyn, Joe & Joanie, Elaine & Bruce, Cheryl and Mark R, Michelle
& Peter, Cody & Bridget, Colette & Art, Sam, Rusty & Judy,
Binnie, the Hellers. I apologize for any left out – as guests milled through
the house and on the deck filling every crevice, it was hard to chronicle
Even though Arlene has previously confided she was having
difficulty getting focused on planning the event it turned out beautifully.
It was a festive time for old
acquaintances to meet newer ones. The hostess was gracious, the food marvelous,
the company great. Bob would have loved it.
Arlene said knowledgably
“Bobbie” was known for his eye for women “if there was an attractive woman
around, Bobbie knew her”. Arlene and Bob were married Oct. 10, 2008.
Bob we hardly knew ye…
Bob’s rich and varied 85 year
life came as a surprise to many here after reading his bio left for all to
take. He studied Law and Finance, clerked for a Federal Judge, was a
stockbroker, edited articles on real estate, banking, law and corporate affairs
but also had jobs as a photographer and cab driver “the job he loved the most”
according to Arlene. His genuine interest in people often took much of his time
wherever he was. He was my champion at times when I needed one and his
compliments on my endeavors were cherished.
For many years he was keeper of
the Volleyball net, which meant no one played until he did. And was a stickler
for the rules – as he saw them.
Such was his love of the sport
he formed a Thursday night game for locals from the mainland whom he fed at his
house on Thursdays. They were here for the memorial as well.
He eventually retired to Kismet
in 1990. “This was his favorite place on earth, where he should be”.
Fittingly a tree was planted in
front of the house “not the back as someone suggested. Bobbie would have hated
that” said Arlene, and blessed with his ashes.
Too bad he couldn’t be there
…or was he?
This amazing spread came from
Marie's Tea in Manhattan - Arlene hired a private car to get it to the
some of the Volleyball
team some 30 years ago
Frank, Elaine & Bruce
Regina, Helen, Lou
Sam and longtime friends
Cody and Dylan
Cheryl, Frank & Phyliss
Roz, Helene & Dorothea
Jane and Joyce
Binnie, Mosse, Fred, Joe, Charlie
Art, Rusty, Dawn & Gary, Patti L
Bridget & Larry
Mike & Marge
Peter & Mark
Jane & Patty
Mosse, Linda & Robin
As we gathered around the Cherry tree where Bob's ashes would be
scattered, someone suggested we sing "Happy Birthday" since the
Memorial was deliberately held on his birthday. The crowd of thirty or
forty people belted out the traditional song in tribute.
Arlene asked for anyone who wished to share a memory to step
Frank and Heather, staying in “Forbidden City,” admired the house
and one night, Frank said “let’s go see. Bob invited them in, offered
them drinks and “sort of adopted them.”
Arlene with Frank and Heather
Guests listening to tributes
Elaine and Bruce Weinstein came up from Marco Island to pay
tribute to their old friend Bobby. Elaine referred to his well-known
housekeeping skills and told how she taught him a "like goes with
like" system of organization that seemed to take.
Years ago, Bob joined a group of mainland guys who came to Kismet
for Volleyball on Thursday nights. The game became a tradition with
dinner following at Bob's House.
Joan McKeehan, their neighbor, said Bob was always on the front
deck in the morning when they passed by on their way to work and again, in the
evening. She also alluded to the Volleyball ritual. Arlene
would came in on the late ferry, and they would sigh "thank goodness,
Others who spoke included Cal, a fellow Alumnus from Hamilton
College who spoke of Bob's subtle, off-beat sense of humor, some from Fair
Harbor who came to Bob for help with writing a press release, Roz, Michelle and
Sam Wood, whose mother designed the home where he spent his
childhood, was always grateful for Bob and Arlene's care and
"good stewardship." Sam did the renovations which
"would be even be difficult for me today."
Arlene, Sam and Cal
Roz Sackoff talked about seeing Bob in a Hawaiian shirt with a
feather in his hat - when asked why the ensemble he said "to attract
Once the tributes were done, Lou gently placed the ashes around
the base of the tree and the guests lined up to take turns adding a shovel ful
of dirt over the ashes, following a lovely Jewish gravesite tradition.